Dec
22
Well, Chuck, What If?
December 22, 2009 | Tagged abortion, chuck noris, Health Care, lieberman, mother mary, obama, obamacare, Religion, women | Leave a Comment
A few days ago, Chuck Norris asked “What if Mother Mary Had Obamacare?” Well, what if…….?
Luke Chapter 1, starting at verse 26.
Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”
But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name JESUS. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”
Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”
And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren. For with God nothing will be impossible.”
Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
And it came to be in that great day that an election was held and the prophet Obama was elected as king over all the land. Obama brought forth peace to the entire world and won great prizes for his expansion of military might in the lands of Iraq and Afghanistan.
Obama also provided everyone with medical care after he smote the corruptor Lieberman in a great duel of corporate lobbyists. And so, Obamacare became the way of health care for the entire land.
It was also written that the kingdom’s funds could be used to provide women access to the full breadth of reproductive procedures including the termination of pregnancies. Since Mary was under the influence of the liberals of the time, the ending of her condition was considered a great sacrament to her false gods.
She said to Joseph, “I am but a young, poor woman. I cannot continue with this great burden that was placed upon me by this Holy Spirit. I only want to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning that are common in this great, holy culture that we live in.”
So Joseph, a white man without any legal protection under the new politically correct reign of Obama took Mary to the town of Bethlehem where the great hospital of Obamacare was being built. As was the new custom after Obamacare was granted to all, many others also flocked to this small town for help with various medical ailments after all those years of being neglected by the big insurance companies.
Joseph and Mary found a comfortable Bed & Breakfast, because there was no room for them in the inn. The sacrament was conducted with great care in the temple of Obamacare and Mary was treated with great respect by the liberal doctors.
Mary returned home with Joseph and they lived out their lives in great peace and prosperity.
I should go ahead and apologize now for the blasphemy. I’m sure if anyone actually read this, some would be offended. But really, Chuck, you are using Mother Mary to fight your political battle against health care. If I were as religious as you pretend to be, that would certainly offend me.